Deal With The Devil
by Sleepingstep
Summary: Seras is trying to bribe Alucard into doing something he REALLY doesn't want to. Maybe there is 'one' thing that the new draculina can do to convince him... Warnings: Alucard being Alucard.


I in no way hold any rights over Hellsing or any of its characters.

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Aren't all the super wimpy-women in anime/manga **really** irritating? They should all get some BALLS, like Integra :D! Go strong women! There should be more of you in anime! Not the 'oh-no my ankle is broken' / 'aren't my boobs unnaturally huge' variety!

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**Deal With the Devil**

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"It's really not that bad, master, if you'd only try it."

"No."

"Look, I've already cut it all up for you. Couldn't you just have a_ little _piece?"

"No."

"It's still _technically _blood, and more filling too. I'm sure Integra would be happy, so why don't you..?"

"**No.**"

Seras sighed in exasperation. Honestly, trying to get Alucard to do something was like uprooting a tree. Time consuming and nearly impossible.

Why couldn't he just eat the damned stuff? Black-pudding wasn't _that _terrible...

Lately, Alucard's blood consumption had become so immense that Integra had had to order cutbacks. Two barrels per day was just _silly._ Unfortunately, however, this new financial restraint had materialised in the form of black-pudding, 'filling and nutritious' as lady Integra had claimed, and far more cost-effective than blood by the barrel.

Sadly, however, Alucard was somewhat unwilling to embrace this new economizing opportunity, as Seras was finding out.

"Look, master," said the draculina, sitting at a table with a plate of the evil looking stuff. "I know it may not be as nice as what you're _used_ to having, but honestly it's quite tasty." She paused, unwilling to so blatantly lie. "When you get used to it, that is," she finished lamely.

"_Really?" _Alucard glared at the food with a viciousness he usually saved for Anderson. "Are you telling me that eating a _scab,_" The use of the word made Seras wince, he didn't have to put it like _that. _ "That eating a _scab_ which consists of clotted pig's blood is something a vampire of my standard should reduce himself to? _I think not..."_

"B-but master-"

"I refuse!"

Chided by the tone of Alucard's voice, Seras stared down at the table, only to have her gaze met by the so called 'scab'. _Just great..._ Admittedly the stuff did taste like crap (Seras had managed to force herself to swallow a piece earlier), but that didn't mean Integra wouldn't be annoyed at her if she didn't manage to get him to eat it...

And just how was she meant to do that? She'd already been arguing with the vampire for half an hour now! Just what could she do?

Like a voice from the heavens, or in this case hell, Alucard stepped in to answer her question.

"You know, police girl," he suddenly began, causing Seras to look up from the horrible substance. "Perhaps I would consider eating that abomination if I was offered something in return. Have you anything that interests me, servant?"

The question hung delicately in the air.

_Something in return..._ Mind grasping at the opportunity, Seras raced over the things that might possibly tempt Alucard into eating.

"Do you want me to get Walter to make you a new gun?"

For this suggestion she received a withering look from her master. "Are you suggesting my current weapons are inadequate, police girl?"

This deflated Seras somewhat, the gun had been her sure fire offer. She was just going to have to think again.

"I could hunt down Anderson and steal his glasses," she hopefully suggested.

At this Alucard laughed but gently shook his head. "Anderson's aim _with _his glasses is already poor enough," he stated. "Having enraged near blinded priests attempt to skewer me isn't particularly tempting, servant. Try again."

"...a new hat?"

"**No."**

Well that left her stumped. If Alucard didn't want weapons, vengeance _or_ a hat then she was all out of options...

Or perhaps not.

A new, far more daring idea had slunk to the centre of Seras's mind.

A faint blush spread across the draculina's features. _There was no way that master could possibly want...could he?_

There was only one way to find out.

"Master..?"

"Yes?"

"Do you..," she swallowed nervously. "Want a kiss..?"

A devious smile crept across Alucard's lips at Seras's timid suggestion. Suddenly embarrassed under her master's hungry gaze Sera's stared down at her boots, blush fully blossoming as she felt herself being surveyed under Alucard's stare.

Keeping her eyes locked firmly on the floor Seras heard her master stand in a flourish of cloth and begin moving towards her with slow and heavy footsteps.

A gloved hand descended and moved under the draculina's chin, two strong fingers pushing her rose kissed face up to look directly at Alucard.

"And what if I do want a kiss...draculina? It would be a fair exchange," Alucard's voice was rich and as smooth as silk. It made Sera's shiver. "I will do as you want me to, if you satisfy this one small request. "But the question is," the vampire paused as if for dramatic effect. "Would a virgin such as you go so far as to give up her first kiss to a monster such as me?"

At this presumption Seras regained some of her usual less subservient character.

"What makes you think it would be my first kiss, master?" She demanded, annoyed that Alucard had obviously labelled her as an 'on the shelf' girl. "For all you know I could have been at it with the whole of Hellsing!"

Alucard laughed, instantly making Seras's hackles rise. "If you had, I quote 'been at it with the whole of Hellsing'," he said, flashing the draculina a razor sharp smile. "I'm sure you wouldn't be blushing so much right now. Embarrassed by the thought of a mere kiss, eh police girl?"

At this little comment Seras was thoroughly offended. So now he was calling her a _prude? _There was only so much this police girl could put up with.

"Well if you don't want to kiss me then just say it," she snapped, turning around and therefore missing the look of shock her words gained from Alucard. "You're the one too afraid to eat black pudding!"

Seras flinched when a pair of arms suddenly enfolded her from behind, pulling her back flush against Alucard's firm chest.

"Afraid? Don't want to..? Now that's _unfair..,_" The vampire breathed into her ear, arms tight around her waist and voice smooth as silk. "I never said I didn't want to kiss you, draculina...And if eating that...stuff...is the price, well, I might have to agree."

It took a moment for the thoroughly shocked Seras to analyse Alucard's words. It wasn't every day that your murderous vampiric master decided to go all cuddly on you, so the draculina was having a little trouble keeping up.

"You mean...you agree?" She questioned, hating how "If I kiss you, you'll eat the black pudding?"

The answer took a few moments.

"Yes."

"_Alright!_"

If Seras had time to speculate after this agreement, she probably would have been embarrassed or nervous about her up and coming first kiss. After all, Alucard was excessively toothy, so there was no guarantee that Seras wouldn't lose a lip or two to her deranged/ bloodthirsty master.

Seras wasn't, however, allowed the luxury of feeling either embarrassed or nervous as Alucard, with lightning speed, instantly spun her around and pulled Seras flush against him, pressing their lips together in a sudden kiss.

Through her sudden blur of surprise, Seras vaguely registered that Alucard's lips were surprisingly soft. They pressed against her own with a subtle delicacy that left Seras's heart racing a giddy beat in her rib cage. With Alucard's arms wrapped around her, pulling Seras firmly against his strong chest, the draculina breathed in her master's rich masculine scent.

In the swirl of sensation that made up the kiss, Seras failed to fully register the slight pang of pain when one of Alucard's fangs grazed against her lip, the metallic tang of blood pouring into both her and her master's mouths. As if this was a prompt, Alucard growled deeply and pulled Seras closer against him, deepening the kiss. Pushing his dexterous tongue past the draculina's pliant lips, Alucard lapped up his servants taste and enticed Seras's own organ into a giddy dance that made the draculina's head spin and heart flutter. She was melting in her master's arms and didn't care one bit...

As quickly as the kiss began it finished. Suddenly pulling away from Seras, Alucard stepped back with a grin to survey the thoroughly flushed figure that was his servant. The police-girl wished that the vampire had the good grace not to look so smug...

Panting slightly, Seras tried to ignore her now manically grinning master and tried to push back the blush that felt as though it came all the way from her toes. It had been unexpectedly...intense. _And_ Seras felt like she was going to be blushing for the rest of her un-life.

"So," she finally managed to gasp, despite their previously intimate situation attempting a formal tone. "You agree to eat the black pudding?"

Alucard laughed, instantly putting Seras's hackles up.

"Well yes, police girl," he eventually said, surveying the nervous draculina with hungry eyes. "I'm sure I can manage now that I've had a taste of fresh blood."

"Huh? When did you..?" With a sudden recollection Seras raised a hand to her lip, her eyes widening in surprise when the fingertips drew away a delicate crimson.

"Master! You tricked me!"

The draculina's accusation was in vain, however, as Alucard was disappearing from the room via the nearest wall. As his figure completely withdrew from Seras's vision, the draculina was left with her master's smug tone echoing through her mind.

"You're blood was delicious, police girl. I must find an excuse to sample it another time!"

And the moral of this story? Alucard always wins.

The End

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Do you get black pudding in other countries? In the U.K. its disconcertingly popular, so please tell me if you have it wherever you are!

Thank for reading and hope you liked it!

Please review!


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